Saturday, September 25, 2010

Pass the Tarn-X

For my single sisters... This question is coming up in virtually every interview I have done for the book: What about men? How can you make them more comfortable? Presumably, having breast cancer wasn't enough for us, we have to make sure the men in our lives don't feel uneasy. Here's a simple tip: Make yourselves comfortable and then it will all fall into place when it comes to men.

When/how/if you tell him about your cancer history really cannot be decided before you even go out on a date with the man. Get to know him. Decide first if you want to share that part of your life with him. Remember, cancer was a small part of a lifetime of experiences you have had. There is no more of a rush to tell him about your breast cancer than there is for him to tell you about his appendicitis in 1998. Relax and breathe on a date. And pay attention. Is this a man you want to share intimate details with? Is this a man who will cherish you and honor what you have been through? Don't be blinded by the light of the full moon in your eyes... I know it may have been a while since you were on a date, but please, remember how it works.

Sometimes, after cancer treatments, we forget the harsh reality of the dating world... and men.

If you are waiting for your knight in shining armor, you better stock up on Tarn-X because by the time you find him, he's gonna be rusty. If he is worth polishing, go for it. If he makes you feel less than the fabulous woman you are, move on. Do not, I repeat, do not let anyone diminish you. You are a magnificent warrior who beat back the Cancer Beast. You deserve only the very best.

Remember that.

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