Saturday, July 3, 2010

Returning to Romance After Breast Cancer

Treatments are over, time to LIVE again. If you haven't picked up "Intimacy After Breast Cancer" yet, here are some tips to get back into the land of the loving. Your whole life is waiting for you, go live it!

Learn to love the new you. Whether you have chosen to have breast reconstruction or not, get to know your body again. Change what you don’t like, embrace what you do like. If you are not happy with your reconstruction, get it redone. If you changed your mind about going natural, look into the best reconstruction options for you.

xplore your new pleasure centers. You may not have sensation in your nipples anymore, but the nerve endings on your collar bone and neck are hypersensitive to touch. Show your lover where you like to be caressed.

 Lingerie can work wonders. Find a beautiful bra and then buy several matching panties. Always wear luxurious lingerie, don’t save it for special occasions.  Get pockets sewn in for your prosthesis. Victoria doesn’t have to be the only one with a secret.

 Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay....! Who needs quickies when you can have a longie? Take your time making love. Become a sensual lover and slow your partner down. This gives your body a chance to become aroused and ready for wonderful sex.

Keep the mystery. Don’t discuss your medical chart with your lover. You are a woman who had cancer. Now you are a warrior goddess, ready to live your life to the fullest. Concentrate on the two of you, right here, right now.

 Don’t be consumed by your past or you won’t have a future. Cancer happened. You have an entire lifetime of experiences outside of it. Put it in proportion. Don’t let cancer get in the way of your life now, if you do, it wins.

 Don't forget the romance.  A lit candle, the soft touch of silk against skin, a glass of wine, a bare shoulder, Melody Gardot playing in the background. Dance, flirt, smile, caress, listen, hint, kiss, love.

Be prepared: Have lubrication at hand if your treatment has changed your body chemistry. Apply it on each other, slowly and pleasurably.

 Ice the cupcakes. If you have new breasts, don’t stop there. Finish your reconstruction and get nipples and areolas. Complete the look, you will be so glad you did. If you are still under-construction, use latex, stick on nipples and wear them under a lacy bra. They look so real you will think they are yours.

Have fun...Because it is!

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