Saturday, July 26, 2008

Turns Out, You're Nothing Special After All

The National Enquirer first broke the news. Then the LA Times confirmed a key portion of their report. The LA Sheriff's Department is investigating the altercation that occurred between the Enquirer's reporters and the Beverly Hilton's security staff. This morning, Fox News confirmed all of it. In a nutshell: it happened.

Dear John Edwards,

I wish I could say I was surprised. But I am not. You see, I have been in Cancerland for seven years now and I have known many women who have done everything in their power to put their family ahead of their own suffering just so they could keep things on an even keel at home. They were more concerned with how their husbands would handle the news of their cancer then they were for themselves.

They worried and fretted that it would upset their husbands. They tried to be Superwomen and get through their treatments and not complain because they did not want their lives to change at all or disturb the family dynamics.

They lost their hair and maybe their breasts, the chemotherapy made them gain weight, they tried to keep up with their healthy husbands even though their joints were screaming in pain from the medicine. They were tired but they kept their schedules packed because their husbands shouldn't have to miss out on anything that they used to do. They also thought, because that is what they were led to believe, that their husbands would be with them through sickness and in health... for better or worse. They also knew that if the tables were turned, and it was their husband who was stricken with a life threatening disease, they would be right by his side, for better or worse, for the duration.

Thank you for showing the world what really happens. Of all the women I am privileged to call "sister," if I were to take a poll, seven out of ten would say their marriage was affected negatively by their cancer diagnosis. Some are told they should not think about cancer all the time; others are told they aren't the same as they used to be; others are told they are no longer attractive; others find out their husbands have cheated on them.

From the man who refused to take his wife to the hospital when she had to have emergency heart surgery because the port-a-cath implanted in her chest to deliver the chemotherapy broke and became lodged in her heart; to the woman who went to her husband's gym to join herself so she could work off the chemo weight and when she asked if she could get on the family membership plan was told that he had joined as a single because his wife was already dead; to the woman whose husband forgot to log out of his account on the family computer and found pornographic images of young girls the same age as their daughter; to all the women who have found their husbands had replaced them with someone else.

You are nothing special, John Edwards. You have shown that you are an ordinary, run of the mill snake. You, the man who ran for president, implying that you were somehow above the norm have just proven that you are not exceptional, not moral, not honest, and a horrible example of how a man should honor his marriage vows.

When Elizabeth's cancer returned, she thought only of you. She put your dreams ahead of her survival. She pulled herself out of the terror and pain of finding out she was now Stage iv to put you in the spotlight. She campaigned all over the country for you while receiving her chemotherapy to try to slow down the disease that would eventually take her life. She always looked great. She made sure the kids were OK. And she was your biggest fan and staunchest supporter.

And what were you doing? How did you honor Elizabeth? You cheated on her. You had a child with someone else. You put yourself before her and your family.

This past weekend, according to reports, you arranged a liaison with your mistress. You thought you wouldn't get caught and to you, that is the tragedy here, correct? If you weren't caught and no one knew, then who did it hurt? Isn't that the married man's mantra?

Scurrying around in hotel hallways and then hiding in the men's room as reporters exposed you, pushing the door closed so they couldn't open it and skulking out under the dark of night, is not very presidential, is it John? It also isn't what makes a man a mensch.

Elizabeth may have breast cancer that has spread to her bones and other places. But you are the one with the fatal disease. Your career is over. Your Tom Sawyer Eagle Scout persona has been stripped off you and you are now just another pol who can't keep his pants up. You are no gentleman. You are one of "them" - the men who cat around behind their wife's back because cancer has altered her a little.

With an ego as big as yours, the worst punishment for you is happening right now. The entire world is seeing what an ordinary, debaucherous, lying, unfaithful, heartless, empty shell of a man you really are. Underneath your $400 haircut is a dime a dozen cheating political hack.

Elizabeth has a lot of life left in her and she is fighting for every minute of it. You are the one who has just seen the final inning of being the star and you will now slither into oblivion.

Dear Elizabeth,

Hang tough. You are beautiful, smart and a wonderful woman. I will close with the words of Ivana Trump:
"Don't get even. Get Everything."


Anonymous said...

Just wondering if you've sent this to any papers? If not, you should. It needs to be read by others, not just those of us directly impacted by BC.

No Surrender said...

I didn't send it to anyone but here. You are right- all women would be mad about this story!

Anonymous said...

I totally missed this story - both in the news and on your blog. I'm stunned and really sad that he's such a cheater and lier ... and I totally agree that your letter needs to be seen!

NS you have such a fabulous way with words .. I love your letter.