We go about this the wrong way. We hear the word cancer and think that is the worst thing we could ever hear. Until we hear the word chemo. That actually has a worse rap that cancer does.
Five years ago, I was convinced my oncologist was trying to murder me...drip by drip....
I looked at my chemo as the death sentence and cancer didn't seem so bad compared to it. It doesn't help that cancer doesn't make you feel sick. In fact, with the exception of a lump or two, you feel fine. Until they start pumping toxic chemicals into your body. THEN you feel sick. OY do you feel sick! At least, five years ago you did. That was before Emmend and Aloxi and all the other agents that have been developed by chemo's new PR firm. They are working hard to improve its image. They have a long way to go - too much bad press to overcome.
In these five years since then, however, I have grown to hate cancer. I hate it with such an intensity that it burns in me. I have lost too many friends to it. I have seen young kids go without mothers because of it. I have seen the suffering. And I want revenge. I want to make cancer hurt as much as it has hurt those I love.
With that knowledge and basal gut instinct, how in hell could I hate chemo? Chemo is cancer's worst enemy. It is what I can use to get "revenge." It will disguise itself in my blood stream, slip between the DNA and take out each and every one of the Beast's terror cells.
I love chemo.
Tomorrow I start Adriamycin. It is an anthracycline type chemotherapeutic drug and it is one of the strongest made. It is also red in color. So it has acquired names from cancer patent's over the years such as, "the red devil", "hi-test Hawaiian punch", etc. It has many side effects, and I may get all of them. Tomorrow at this time I may be overcome by them. But I will still love it. Because no matter how bad I feel, the cancer will be feeling worse- because it is DEAD.
Me and my friend, Red, are going to kick some cancer ass tomorrow. We intend on winning.
Cancer hates that.