I survived the surgery. That was the easy part. Surviving the hospital was more of a challenge. I could not wait to get out of there and out of 'harm's way'. I do not know what has become of our wonderful hospital here, but it is not someplace I wish to ever return to again.
Recovering from a bilateral mastectomy and full axillary node dissection with nothing but Tylenol to take has been a challenge. But I am making it. Every day I feel a little better and I have learned that nothing is forever. Nothing can be as bad as that first night's pain and I have been improving.
I wanted to share with you something I saw last night that reminded me of the veteran in all of us. Those of us who have gone through breast cancer and every little thing that accompanies it, gets a second sense. We have a new awareness and we seem to instinctively know when to panic and when to go with the flow. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow because there is absolutely nothing you can do to change things.
I was watching an old movie with Jimmy Stewart last night called "The Glen Miller Story," you should see it for the music alone! But there was a scene that reminded me of what we, the veterans, go through.
Jimmy as Glen Miller joins the army in WWII and it is during the terrible bombings of England. He is playing "In the Mood" at an army hospital and the wounded soldiers and nurses are all outside surrounding him on a little terrace listening to the music that brings them back to the time when things were innocent, peaceful, and not forever changed. An air raid siren begins to go off and everyone knows they must take cover. But "In the Mood" still plays, all the soldiers look up to see the incoming bomber, so does Glen Miller, but he picks up his trombone instead. The plane drops its bomb not far from where they are and the music still plays. Everyone ducks but the music still plays. When the plane has passed the wounded all sit up again and start applauding madly because the music was still playing and it never stopped. It was a close one, but it missed!
That is how we have to live our lives now. We can see the incoming. We may have to duck and dodge a few bombs, but the important thing is to stay true to who we are. There is that part of us that cancer can never get to and our music will always keep playing. We just have to listen to it and enjoy every second of it. Sure, there will always be incoming scares and bullets and bombs, that is part of our lives now. But, just like those soldiers on that sunny day listening to "In the Mood," they savored the moment and refused to let anything ruin it. We just have to keep fighting and never let the music of our lives stop.
And in the end, we will also win the war we are waging as well.