Friday, February 2, 2007

Break in the Action

Notice there has been a time lapse here? Sorry, but the Beast has decided to play a few games with me.

One thing about being a breast cancer survivor is you are never safe. There is always something looking over your shoulder... and a simple check up can be a life altering experience.

That is what happened to me. Not one, but three lumps were discovered in Righty, AKA the "good" breast. When I was first diagnosed, things were easier, clearer and much less of an ordeal. But now the players have changed their job descriptions. BOTH my oncologist and breast surgeon decided to stop taking Oxford as health insurance which means that I must pay them out of pocket. That is fine if it is just an office visit, but if we are dealing with a potential new diagnosis it is a disaster.

I was given the run-around but finally wound up today with three core biopsies performed in the radiologist's office. Seventeen samples were taken, I was wide awake, and I do believe that the late Saddam Hussein himself thought up this procedure.

Is my cancer back? I don't know. I don't want it back. I do not want to do this again. BUT, if it is I hope the Beast remembers just who it went to battle with last time around... defeat is not an option. I am reminded of the scene from The Untouchables...

“What are you prepared to do? If he pulls a knife, you pull a gun. If he sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue.”

And I am prepared to do what ever I have to do.

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